My first patient was dear old Santa
Who had lost all his jolly banter
Who had lost all his jolly banter
He had turned to drink
And struggled to think
So I suggested sticking to fanta
I called in Mrs Claus
Who was struggling to find the cause,
She was flushy and hot
And was loosing the plot
We agreed it was menopause
Next came a bunch of Elves,
They had piles from sitting on shelves,
They were tender and sore
And couldn’t take any more
I advised scheriproct to insert themselves
Last came Rudolf the reindeer
He was lacking Christmas cheer
His nose was red
He wanted his bed
Self-care was the best idea
I'll see them all again next year!